#3YearsAgo
I had my life’s funniest experience:
At school there was this new girl; tall, skinny yet sexy. Let’s call her Sara. We went to a 3 day camp to a place called Hatu nearby Shimla. It was an ‘only girls’ trip. This trip is one of the best I’ve ever had. It’s an awesome feeling to be around with your friends all by yourself. On arriving at the camp organisation it was a shock when my peers chose me as the entire group’s leader.
Until that point of life, I had learnt not to get affected by torments and any sort of peer pressures. Sara acted up whenever I was around, she sure didn’t hide her dislike!
Since I was the leader, the young instructor gave me instructions for tasks and everything , and that needs communication, so we talked. This got manipulated in rumours that I liked him. Being experienced with false rumours, I chose to ignore it until there was a Facebook status put up by a girl who started it all. It was a brand new spicy hot topic for I guess the entire school.
Half a month later my bestie calls me and out of the blue she starts talking about the incident asking me how was I doing?
‘Seriously babe, I’m too bored to get involved or get angry. If someone hates me it’s totally their problem not mine. Though, I’m curious why she hates me so much because I don’t even know her that well.’ I said.
My friend was shocked by my attitude, she had expected complaints and anger outburst but got the opposite- calm , composed and not-giving-damn type.
‘Should I tell you the reason?’ She asked.
‘How would you know?’
‘Make a guess from whom did I get to know all this shit when it should’ve been you telling me.’
‘Well, it wasn’t important to tell sweetie.’ I sighed.
‘The whole school is talking about you!’ she exclaimed.
‘Half the school always talks about me,’ I said rolling my eyes, ‘Anyhow, was it one of your old friends?
‘Yup, so do you know Sara?’
‘Yeah…’ I frowned.
‘Apparently she hates you. Guess the reason?’
‘Emm… Because I was the leader at the camp? But I don’t understand, she was one of the loudest shouting my name!’
‘No, dumbo! She’s highly jealous of you.’
‘Why?’ I frowned.
‘Because you’re beautiful.’
‘Is that your thinking?’ I laughed.
‘No, that’s what everyone said and knows.’ she said.
‘Oh come on! You are being like mom now!’ I ridiculed her.
‘Do you know that she talked about until late nights criticising anything and everything about you? All two nights of your stay there and everyone got so bored of it!’
‘What the fish! Late nights talking about me? What did she find so special about me?!’ I exclaimed.
‘One doesn’t know their own qualities but some people burn knowing them. I think she just hates you for random reasons.’ said my friend.
‘And do you think that’s wise enough?’ I asked.
‘No, it isn’t. Anyhow, I just wanted to check on you if everything is alright but I’m actually shocked that you aren’t even giving a shit about who says what. What the hell has happened to you babe?’
‘Well, I changed the ‘getting affected’ bit babe and trust me it’s freaking peaceful!’
We laughed.
Years have passed by, even today when I sometimes go through similar things not knowing the reasons behind hostilities, I choose not to react. But this is just a story from my past.
Such experiences aren’t only mine. Most people, girls and boys, go through peer pressure because of their “good” looks. Actually, people just tend to hate somethings. It can be either your looks or it can be even the fact that you are being yourself and if some people like/love you for your uniqueness, the haters just can’t stand it.
***
The haters:
They wouldn’t find their uniqueness and they wouldn’t let others find theirs as well and those who don’t care about such people get their worst wrath.
The extent of what the “haters” can do depends on you, your behaviour & your various sorts of uniqueness. If you are too great say in studies/sports/extra activities, etc. and a favourite of many teachers at school, the haters target teachers with buttering. If you’re too great at work, the haters target the boss with buttering. Any special quality of someone can become a poisonous reason for someone else’s jealousy, which is ofcourse not the problem of the ‘special’ person. Most of the times there’s not one hater, there’s more than one. When you’re too positive and don’t take a defeat as a bad sign, they hate it. When you don’t care what the world around you says about you behind your back and act cool when you get to know a false rumour about yourself, they hate it. Haters get some weird sort of happiness in making that one person cry because they think the person “deserves” it. They will forget to see their qualities, it wouldn’t matter if the same person tries to help them, they’ll just hate you because you deny to be someone else other than yourself.
Weird shit right?
Yeah, so… what to do? These haters have harmed you in ways that you either don’t have a clue about it or that you are suspicious of some some stories and past events but can’t get any proofs. They are capable of many things because jealousy can enrage a person to infinite limits of destruction.This destruction can be self destruction or well, onto the target inciting their hatred.
Jeez! that’s scary. It’s a mater of time, if you stay too long around them you will drive them crazy without knowing it. You can never understand the “WHY?” behind their actions no matter how much you try to understand and even befriend them. Just know it; it’s not your fault to have a “uniqueness” because that is who you are.
Who’s fault is it?
The answer is something really obvious- the one that despises you ardently and loves you more fiercely than even your moms can!
“WHAT?!?” you’ll exclaim with bright wide eyes.
When a person is in love, they think about you day and night and night and day. Therefore, there’s is no great love than a hater’s. It’s also dangerous so beware! 😉
The haters never realise their potential because they are just too busy in looking outward at others who, on the other hand, are busy looking inward and self-reflecting. A unique person knows that he/she is not the only one with a “speciality”, there are 7.4 billion people with far more than thousand specialities, smallest to largest. A hater would never have even a passing thought regarding this.
The haters will always make sure to discourage you and your ideas and the obvious- turn people against you, especially those you call “Friends”. They will find all sorts of ways to make you unhappy and when you don’t react, they burn in rage. They have all sorts of reasons to deny the realities. People around will sooner or later understand all of the mess created around you. All you gotta do is- CONTINUE.
Continue being who you are- the real you.
***
If you’ve forgotten the real you then find yourself.
‘How?’ you’d say, ‘It’s like I’ve forgotten myself. I don’t know anymore who the hell am I?’
Aaah! You might be love struck and heart broken. You might be hard worker yet a failure. You might be trying too hard to keep up with expectations and ridicule your heart and your wishes. You might be finding reasons to see fulfill expectations or self talking to do so. You might have lost someone special. You might be feeling empty. You might be feeling like a worthless piece of shit. You might be sinking down under a pressures of your heart and people, your wants and other’s wants etc., etc., and etc.
It’s a pressure cooker feeling, your emotions can burst out anytime, anywhere.
Solution: BRING THE YOU BACK.
Again, ‘How?’
Firstly, get back into the things you once loved to do. You’ll hate it because it might not seem interesting anymore. But do it. Trust me it freaking helps. 🙂
Second, draw a line with expectations and Speak up. Find what you want because in hearts of your hearts you know that if you try to impress/keep someone else’s heart by putting your heart at stake you will always fail and you will always be an average.
Third, fuck the haters. (Not literally! I mean figuratively.) You’ll love every bit of it!
Slowly you’ll find yourself and unite with yourself with a big hug.
***
Mirror Mirror, Who is the most beautiful in this world?
Mirror:
The hearts.
-Mamta K. Sofat
[Music lovers: This One’s for you- David Guetta ft. Zara Larsson
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2h1jRmiZhM )
All four walls- Gorgon city, Vaults
Mesmers 